I recently interviewed Donald Robertson on his “How to Think Like Socrates” book.
A key takeaway was the link he drew between psychological rigidity and modern self help advice.
Psychological rigidity is an inflexible mental state which makes it difficult to change perspectives, beliefs, or habits — even when faced with contradictory information.
Research consistently finds associations between it and poorer mental health outcomes.
People who are high in rigidity often adhere to strict rules and routines—most of which are self imposed.
Gradually, their rules form the “bars” of an “internal prison”, which they dare not step outside of.
This is interesting because a lot of self-help today provides people with rules, routines, and protocols to follow.
E.g. 12 Rules for Life, The Miracle Morning, etc.
Although well intentioned, it seems possible this may contribute to psychological rigidity in those who follow them—particularly if they work.
Gradually, individuals who blindly follow these rules start to think like an algorithm:
“If I follow X rule, I will get Y result, and I’ll feel good.”
So, over time, they become dependent on following rules for their wellbeing.
And feel diminished if they’re unable to do it.
As an example, a friend of mine once had a morning routine involving 1 hour of meditation, affirmations, journaling, cold shower, gym, breathwork, etc—just to feel ok.
I’m not saying these things don’t have positive effects.
But I am saying that depending on them for our well-being—to the extent we feel diminished when we can’t do them—isn’t good.
Over time, it goes from routines serving life, to life serving routines.
In the book, Robertson explains that Socrates’ brain was the opposite of a psychologically rigid one.
And if there were assessments available back then, he probably would have scored incredibly high on the trait known as psychological flexibility.
This is the ability to stay present, adapt perspectives, and choose actions in a way that aligns with what matters most—especially when life is difficult.
It’s one of the most studied constructs in modern psychology, and one of the strongest predictors of human flourishing.
The more psychologically flexible you are, the more likely you are to thrive.
People who are high in this trait don’t depend on rules.
But can experiment with them, and play with them loosely.
This is critical because everything in life depends on context.
What is good in one situation may be nightmarish in another.
To illustrate this, Donald used the example of someone who says we should always tell the truth, no matter what.
But what if one day, this person is at home, and a loved one is suicidal, and they’ve asked where a knife is?
In that context, is it the right thing to do to tell the truth?
Obviously this is an extreme example, but it reveals an important point.
Even values are context dependent.
The goal isn’t to blindly follow them. But to be able to choose the most appropriate value which can do the most good in any particular situation.
Which means if we want to navigate this life effectively, we need to shift away from the tendency to follow rules, and focus on developing psychological flexibility instead.
There are numerous ways to approach this, but the most direct is probably via Acceptance and Commitment training/therapy (ACT)—developed by Professor Steven Hayes.
For an intro, check out this interview with Steven or this blog post. And for a deeper dive, A Liberated Mind is a great read.
