#1 – The MIST Framework for Overcoming Rumination
I used to think a consistent meditation practice was the best way to prevent rumination.
The thinking was, if I could simply be aware of problematic thoughts when they arose, I’d be less likely to be taken in by them and led down ruminative pathways.
My opinion on this changed significantly after a recent breakup.
In the weeks that followed, I found myself often unable to manage my emotional state.
I would be sitting at work, trying to focus on something.
Then, without warning, the rumination would kick in, and I’d suddenly get dragged down into a pit of despair, catastrophizing, and self flagellation.
For the first time in a long time, my emotional wellbeing felt out of my control.
And I was starting to wonder if things would ever return to normal.
A few weeks into this, this conversation between Jonathan Fields and Donna Jackson Nakazawa appeared in my podcast feed.
Donna is a science journalist who has spent years researching the brain science of rumination and the underlying causes, documenting the key findings in her book: Mind Drama.
Out of this, she developed a neuroscience-based framework for disrupting the ruminative process in its early stages before it takes over.
I gave it a try when I noticed a rumination cycle beginning and was immensely relieved to find that it actually worked!
Instead of being dragged down into the usual spiral, I was now able to break the pattern before it escalated and regain control of my inner state.
If you struggle with rumination, I’ve briefly outlined the framework in this Google doc.
For a deeper dive into the underlying science and method, check out Donna’s book.
#2 – How to Feel Deeply Supported in Any Situation
Professor Peter Hawkins is a leadership consultant, author, and co-developer of systemic coaching, who will also be joining us on next year’s Thought Leaders Camino (see below).
Many of the leaders he works with regularly face difficult meetings where the pressure is on and the stakes are high.
Often they’ll be in these situations alone without the support of their colleagues — which adds to the pressure further.
To help his leaders feel supported in these situations, Peter developed an exercise that allows them to visualise, embody, and bring the support of those closest to them into the meeting.
Here’s how it works:
1.) Close your eyes and raise your left arm. Now imagine your partner, family, close friends, and loved ones. Recall memories of how they’ve loved and supported you over the years, imagining all of this energy flooding into your left arm.
2.) Now raise your right arm. Bring to mind your peers, team mates, and colleagues, and all of the strength they’ve given you over the years and continue to provide you with. Imagine this strength pouring into your right arm.
3.) Finally, put both hands on your shoulders. This is where the support of your guides will flow into. Mentors, coaches, teachers, and role models who have believed in you along your journey and played a key role in shaping the person you’ve become. Feel their support flowing from your hands into your shoulders.
And that’s it.
With this practice, you never have to do anything difficult in life alone. Inside, you can take a whole team with you.
See the video version here.
#3 – The Synchronicity that Started The Weekend University
Do you believe synchronicities are worth taking seriously?
I do.
Not many people know this, but The Weekend University was actually brought into being because of a strange synchronicity I experienced when I was 24.
This post (3 min read) shares the story.
#4 – Organise a Seanchoíche
I wrote the story above for a Seanchoíche organised by my friends Ben, Liz, and Rose last week.
If you’re unfamiliar, a Seanchoíche (pronounced Shanna-key-huh) is an Irish storytelling event where a group of people come together to share stories around a common theme.
Our first event theme was “lost and found” and last week’s was “treasures”.
Something magic happens when a group of people get together with the intention of sharing and listening to each other’s stories.
We’ve been doing this around campfires for thousands of years.
So when we practice this ritual in modern life, it feels deeply meaningful and reconnects us to something primal inside.
In The Power of Meaning, Emily Esfahani Smith goes as far to say that storytelling is one of the four core pillars that make life meaningful and fulfilling.
Practically speaking, it’s pretty simple to set up.
We had about 15 attendees, with 8 storytellers and each person having a 10 minute window to share their tale.
With a break included and time for conversations before and after, it lasts about two hours.
You don’t need a fancy tech setup either.
Both times we’ve simply done it with some chairs laid out in a back garden.
If you’re interested in learning more about the tradition and attending a larger-scale Seanchoíche, check out upcoming events here.
#5 – How to Have Peace of Mind After Any Decision
In their latest book, Dave Evans and Bill Burnett make a strong case for separating the decisions we make from the outcomes they lead to.
This is important because we can’t control the outcomes of our decisions—only the process we use to arrive at them.
In many cases, we may have done our best to make a good decision, but things don’t pan out as we had hoped.
When this happens, separating the decision from the outcome can give us peace of mind because we know we’ve given our best to the process.
After that, we can let the chips fall where they may.
So, if the process matters more than the outcome, what’s a better way to approach the key decisions in our lives?
Parker Palmer is someone who has thought deeply about this.
When I asked him about his process for making life’s big decisions, he told me that it was a combination of inner listening and outer dialogue.
He spends time in stillness and solitude, meditating and journalling on the dilemma, trying to get a sense for what the depths within are guiding him towards.
After this inner exploration, he shares his reflections with trusted mentors, colleagues, and friends.
People that support him but also challenge him because they want what’s best for him in the long run—and won’t just blindly agree with what he’s saying.
If it’s still not clear after the first round of inner exploration and outer dialogue, Parker repeats the cycle.
So, the next time you’re facing a big decision, try Parker’s approach.
By investing deeply in the process, you can be confident that you’ll have peace of mind—regardless of the eventual outcome.
#6 – Seeing God as a Process, Not as an Engineer
I recently interviewed Iain McGilchrist for our Aligned Creator Summit.
A key takeaway for me was Iain’s view that God is better thought of as a process, than as an engineer.
This matters because our image of God affects us deeply at a subconscious level—whether we are aware of it or not.
Many of us have grown up with the basic sense that God is a judgemental father figure in the sky, watching from afar, and occasionally intervening.
In this view, he created a divine plan, set the world in motion via a cosmic big bang, and now everything is sort of just playing out, according to this plan.
A little bit like an engineer who designs a machine, switches it on, and then simply watches it run.
Iain suggests a very different image of God—not as an engineer standing outside creation, but as a living, participatory process unfolding from within it.
A process that we are an integral part of and playing an active role in.
If you take Thomas Aquinas’ view that God is Being itself—and therefore in all things and all people (which I do)—we’re no longer puppets of a divine entity, acting out a predetermined script.
Instead, we are an extension and expression of the body of God, and intentional, conscious agents that have an active role to play in co-creating a better world—both on the inner and outer levels.
Maybe this is why being creative and bringing something new into the world, (e.g. a piece of writing, a poem, a work of art, a business) feels so rewarding.
When we do so, we are fulfilling our role as active participants in the co-creation of this world.
And, in a way, “surprising” God.
In a separate interview, Kevin Kelly, the founding editor of WIRED magazine, shared that he believed that this was the purpose of life.
To surprise God.
(See the clip with Kevin here.)
Because if God is an unfolding process, and we are part of that process, then it naturally follows that God “wants” to be surprised.
It’s part of the plan!
So, a question worth thinking about…
How can you surprise God today?
#7 – The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller
This is a fascinating exploration of what grief is and how best to heal from it.
(I discovered the book from this talk given by Barrett Brooks—which is also worth a watch.)
A couple of takeaways for me…
First, grieving is a natural, embodied process that is to be embraced.
When it comes, we often try to escape the pain by distracting ourselves or getting excessively busy.
Weller argues that when we do this we’re missing an opportunity to deepen and grow.
He suggests that a better approach is to become present when grief knocks at our door, welcome it in, and to do our best to offer compassion to the painful emotions flowing in our body.
In the same way that a loving parent would tend to a child in distress.
By doing so, we deepen our presence and capacity to be with suffering—both in ourselves and others.
Incidentally, the word “compassion” comes from the Latin compati, meaning “to suffer with.”
Second, because grief happens in the body, it also requires an embodied approach to healing.
One that taps into the right hemisphere and resonates with us on a deep level.
According to Weller, rituals are one of the most powerful ways to process grief and something humans have been doing for thousands of years.
That said, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
To be effective, your grief ritual needs to be something symbolic that is personally meaningful to you.
It could involve a pilgrimage, planting a tree, writing and burning a letter, or creating a simple ceremony in nature.
The specifics don’t matter all that much.
What matters is that it carries a symbolic meaning that resonates with a deep part of you.
