7 Insights – April, 2025

1.) Quote & Question I’m Trying (And Constantly Failing) to Live By:

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” ― Epictetus

Question: How can I create the conditions within, so that quality actions naturally flow out of it—as a byproduct?

In other words, how can I get my state of being right first, before I engage in doing?

2.) Something That Blew My Mind – The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben

This is a gem.

What stood out for me was how trees, quite literally, “communicate” and share resources with each other — particularly during times of need. 

One example – if a giraffe starts eating the leaves of an African Acacia tree, it releases a chemical “warning signal” to other trees in the area. When the other trees receive the signal, they begin releasing toxic chemicals to repel the giraffes before they reach them.

Trees also “care” for each other. 

There are many cases where an old tree has been cut down in a forest, leaving only a stump. 

Normally, stumps simply die and decompose, as they are no longer being fed by photosynthesis. 

However, other trees “pump” sugars and water to it under the ground to keep it alive – sometimes for centuries. But only some stumps are nourished in this way—with researchers speculating these lucky ones are likely “parents” or relatives of the trees that make up the forest today.

3.) The Invisible Threads of Human Existence

Growing up, my default view was that we were basically autonomous individuals, roaming around this planet independently of each other. 

But this started to shift in 2024, as I spent the year recording interviews with 35 of the world’s leading experts on attachment for our Holistic Attachment Summit.

When you go into a subject that deeply, metaphors and images come to mind that describe it better than any words could. One in particular came to me while running on the beach one morning that has stayed with me since. 

In a nutshell, it was that there is a “thread-like” quality to human existence. 

So if you see two people walking together, there are really three things present: 

The two individuals.

And an invisible “thread”, representing the relational flow between them. 

The density of these threads vary depending on the strength of the relationship. 

When you meet someone for the first time, the thread is like a thin string. 

Whereas with a family member, a deep friendship, or a long-term romantic partner, it’s like a robust rope. 

Although not visible, it’s the quantity and strength of these relational threads in our lives that is the biggest predictor of our mental health and wellbeing. The more “ropes” (i.e. deep connections) we have, the happier and healthier we’ll be. 

Since, I’ve made a conscious effort to create more ropes in my life. 

A practice I’ve found helpful for doing this is simply to keep a spreadsheet with all of the people I currently share strong connections with and others I’d like to strengthen. Then, as I’m planning my day, I’ll pick one thread to invest in — which can be as simple as sending a WhatsApp message or voice note to hear how they’re getting on.

4.) A Book That Challenged My Assumptions — Believe by Ross Douthat

After a brief spell with atheism, I spent most of my 20s in the “spiritual but not religious” camp. 

Although I liked the flexibility this provided, if I’m honest, I always felt there was something missing. 

The past few years, I’ve been re-engaging with the faith tradition I grew up in, and have found my sense of meaning in life has increased significantly as a result. 

In this book, Douthat explores the unexpected benefits of religion, what we lose when it’s missing, and covers everything from the hard problem of consciousness to mystical experiences in the process.

A takeaway for me was that if your original religion feels inaccessible to you now, and you find yourself drawn in another direction, then follow your spiritual curiosity to see where it leads you. Speculating (wildly) here, but maybe that’s a higher power creating a trail for you to follow. 

You never know where you’ll end up, but you won’t get very far if you don’t begin the journey. 

As Rupert Sheldrake once put it to me in an interview: 

“All roads lead to God” — the trick is to find the most direct path for you. 

(Note: I am not saying to join a cult – never do that.)

5.) How I’m Making Daily Journalling Effortless (And Creating a Digital “Memory Bank”)

A recent conversation with Derek Sivers reminded me of the value of keeping a daily digital journal (see 53:55). 

Not only does this provide more clarity and intentionality in the present, it also serves as a “memory bank” that your future self can tap into at any time. 

That being said, the last thing I want to do when I’m winding down for the evening is open my laptop, and start writing a detailed entry. 

However, recently I’ve found a simple way to use AI to make this effortless, and I don’t even need to be in front of a computer anymore. 

Here’s the process: 

1. Go for a walk and put in my airpods (In addition to their microphone functionality, this also makes it look like you’re talking to someone on the phone – so you’re less likely to appear like you’re talking to yourself.)

2. Open up a note on my phone and press the record (i.e. transcribe) button.

3. Answer the following questions: 

a,) What happened today? (a brief summary of the day’s events.) 

b.) What were my 3 wins?

c.) What was the most important thing I learned?

d.) Where did I fall short?

e.) What 3 wins do I want tomorrow?

This gives me a rough draft note – which is usually just a big “blob” of unformatted text that makes little sense.

4. Then I paste the rough draft into ChatGPT and use this prompt to edit and clean up the note. 

(Note: you only need to enter the prompt once.) 

5. Finally, at the end of the week, I open the ChatGPT thread containing my journal entries, copy the ones I recorded that week, and store them chronologically in google drive, so they are easily accessible for my future self. 

That’s it. 

6.) The Only Scoreboard That Matters (4 min read) 

If I’ve noticed anything from the 33 years I’ve been fumbling around this planet, it’s that: 

When I’m living in alignment with my values, I thrive. 

And when I’m out of alignment, I suffer. 

This short excerpt (974 words) from my upcoming book provides an introduction into what values are, why they’re such a powerful force in our lives, and gives a simple framework for uncovering your own:

The Only Scoreboard That Matters

Note: this chapter is still very much a “work-in-progress”, so if you have any feedback or suggestions on how it could be improved, please hit reply on this email, and let me know.

7.) Documentary I enjoyed — T.R.: The Story of Theodore Roosevelt

If you’re looking for a bit of entertainment and/or inspiration over the weekend, this is worth a watch. 

Roosevelt’s life reads like a work of fiction:

— Born with severe asthma, a condition which almost kills him, and which he treats with regular vigorous exercise (e.g. by walking 8 miles a day while at university)

—  Loses his wife and mother on the same day. To deal with the pain, he retreats to the Badlands (I.e. the Wild West), and lives like a Cowboy

— Returns to American life and voluntarily goes to the frontline to fight a war against the Spanish in Cuba — consistently risking death — which he seems to have no fear of

— Becomes the youngest US president in history

— Writes 35 books 

— Wins the Nobel Peace Prize

A key theme throughout was Roosevelt’s courage, which wasn’t something he “had”, but more something he acted his way into:

“There were all kinds of things of which I was afraid—mean horses, gun fighters, grizzly bears—but by acting as if I were not afraid—wasn’t afraid at all—I found that I wasn’t afraid.”